When I first met my spouse, we quickly found that we had an interest in common sexually. I wanted to learn how to surrender, and she wanted to teach someone how to surrender.
It was something I longed for -- complete surrender -- heart, mind, body, soul -- all surrendering as one. I was someone who trusted no one. Surrender to another involves just a HUGE amount of trust. So in a way, learning to surrender was learning how to trust.
I soon found the ability to trust her, and my education about myself and my body began. It is just an incredible, almost indescribable feeling to surrender to someone completely. I tried to capture some of this feeling in a poem called (surprise!) "Surrender". But trust me, I haven't found a way yet to accurately describe what it feels like. Its almost a religious experience (that ought to piss off the religiousos!).
Surrender
This weekend I will dance
for you wearing the black
lace bustier as
the black thong rides
my hips swaying inches
from your face
undulating to that fuck
song by Nine Inch Nails
I recorded three times
back to back.
I free the stockings
from their garters.
You appreciate
the length of my leg
propped on your thigh
your slightly parted lips
the only response
you surrender
as I ease the stocking
down its length.
And when I whisper "Yes",
you take control
I tempted you to lose
and exact penance
on the couch
on the floor
against the wall
my atonement
yielding
to your urgent hands
encased in fingerless black leather
my redemption
your mouth taking
as it pleases
while I ascend
irreverent
absolved. 
